Meet and Greet: 4/29/17
Join the meet and greet!!
Let me tell you the story of my life. I am a 35 year old Black woman who has never been married, is currently single (with no promising prospects), and has no children. There you go; apparently that’s it. People no longer recognize or applaud my life, but instead remind me my childbearing years are dwindling. Maybe people think I missed that day in sex education. Maybe people think reminding me will make me run out and get pregnant. I am being shamed, for what I thought, was a responsible adult. I practiced safe sex with the goal of not getting pregnant by a man who I could not see my life with. I’m learning that rule only applies when you’re in your early 20s. In response to everyone’s concern, I decided I owed my ovaries and ova an apology for the years lost.
Dear Ovaries and Ova, I apologize for not allowing you to have your time in the spotlight during your optimum years, my early to mid-20s. I selfishly put my needs to acquire a college education and seek suitable employment before your need to reproduce. No, I didn’t need a Master’s degree and I probably should have reserved those years for you. Although my boyfriend at the time did not see the same future with me that I saw with him, I should’ve made it work. If not my boyfriend, I could have bamboozled one of the many men I have met since and had an “oops baby” so that you could’ve done what you were created to do and live out your life mission.
I apologize for the years that I used birth control which prevented ovulation and would not allow you dear Ova to become fertilized. I was hindering you and standing in the way of nature. It was not fair that I subjected you to such levels of hormones that prevented you from doing your job as efficiently as you were designed. There was no flaw with you, it was all me. I thought I was doing the responsible thing for the both of us, preventing unwanted pregnancies. Although praised in my 20s, it’s not what’s up in my 30s.
I am now 35 and I apologize that you may never get the accolades you desire for bringing a life into this world. I apologize for all of the wasted ova that did not get implanted in my uterus. I didn’t realize it was waste at the time, I swear. I will say that I have taken very good care of you all these years, I hope you don’t think it was in vain. The safe sex prevented me from contracting something that would harm your fertility and my annual visits ensured me you were in tip top shape with no cancerous cells looming. On a positive note, women are having children later and later and I am healthy, so maybe you will still get the opportunity one day. I am doing all I can to find a suitable mate.
Ovaries and Ova, I know that if you could respond you would comfort me and say “It’s not your fault and there is no need to apologize. I am proud of you and I need you to know that you did make the best decision for your life and that of your unborn child.” You would remind me, “Don’t succumb to societal pressures.” You would reassure me, “Once that egg was fertilized and carried to term the beautiful healthy baby would require a great deal of responsibility that you were not ready for.” My ovaries would also thank me for the great care I took to protect my reproductive organs and for maintaining good health which may allow me to still be able to have a baby one day. “Yes, women are having children later. Yes, it may take longer, but you have options. Options afforded to you by the income you worked hard for.”
Yes, I would love to have a child one day. Single mothers, I recognize the struggle, I respect you, and I applaud you, but I’m not ready to join you. Not intentionally. A women shouldn’t be shamed for being an un-wed mother and I shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to be an un-wed mother. My life is more than being unmarried and childless; I have value outside of reproduction. I am a woman, an artist, hard worker, and so much more. I am dynamic. I am wonderfully made. I will continue to live my life with faith that one day I will be blessed with a child, but if not then that is OK. I have made peace with it. My patience is thin and children get on my nerves anyway, LOL, just kidding, sort of.
I started my workout regimen at Orange Theory again and my body absolutely hurts, but it was a great workout. There were definitely periods where I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest (peep my red zone 25 minutes), but it was well worth it.
I’m not sure how much weight I want to lose, I kind of want to play it by eye. I don’t want to be too thin, but right now I’m thinking 20 pounds.
Follow my journey with me 😊
Wishing everyone a happy new year. I had an amazing 2016 and I’m excited for what 2017 has to offer.
Praying for this family and justice!
We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident
(A note. Highlights in blue are embedded links to news sources. Clicking on them opens the source in a new tab.)
Kenneth and Jackie Johnson with a photo of Kendrick.
It’s been a long journey for the parents of Kendrick Johnson. In January 2013, the 17-year old’s body was found in a gym mat in the high school he attended. Local authorities ruled the death an accident. Kendrick’s parents hired a pathologist who found that Kendrick died of blunt force trauma.
To add insult to injury, all of Kendrick’s internal organs were missing, replaced with newspaper.
In April 2013, Kendrick’s parents Jackie, Kenneth Johnson, and 5 family members protested outside of the courthouse. The protest was designed to pressure the local sheriff’s office to release the investigative file of Kendrick’s death. They were arrested. In January 2015, they were convicted of civil disobedience. Their sentence was suspended for…
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I will admit that I am the absolute worst at meal prepping. My thing is, how am I supposed to know what I want to eat on Wednesday on Sunday when I prep?
Next week I am going to make a conscious effort to plan my meals for the week. That will include me grocery shopping and cooking several days, which are two chores I don’t love.
I saw this post on Facebook and figured it’s time to respect my body with healthy choices if I want to have a healthy life.
When I decided that I was going to start sharing, I told myself I was going to be completely honest. I don’t know who created the message above, but it spoke to me. The weekends are my biggest challenge! I love eating out and I love cocktails! Those are two of the worst things for someone who is trying to achieve a weight-loss goals.
I had barbecue pulled pork, mac & cheese, and collard greens. If it matters at all I didn’t finish any of the three. After, I went to Wet Willies; the Bob Marley is great! I highly recommend it!
I had a grouper sandwich and a cocktail called Blue Lagoon. Not to justify this, but I did go kayaking that morning and it was a pretty strenuous work out, I’m just saying. I also fell out the boat so, I figured I deserved a treat.
I had one crabcake, salad, and Crème Brûlée. Oh, I also had two Blueberry Lemon Drops. I know, I know, but I love crème brûlée and I don’t get it often. I guess I didn’t need two cocktails especially since I had one earlier in the day. It was pretty amazing though, I’m so weak.
Today I am at a clean slate, but at a crossroads. I am supposed to go to brunch and I already know that I want the French toast and bacon. If you don’t know, Datz has got the best bacon.
I know that I should cut back and I know that I need to make better choices. It’s the same cycle every weekend, during the week I lose weight and then the weekend comes I put on at least a pound. Two steps forward, one step back, literally.
I am a single woman so I can’t possibly just stay home, I need to be out mingling. Anyone else facing this issue? What should I do? How do I remain social and maintain my health goals?
It’s holiday time!!!!! You know what that means stress, pressure, and uncertainty lol. The holidays can be a confusing time for people dating. To exchange gifts; not to exchange gifts. Meet the family; don’t meet the family. Spend New Year’s together; spend it apart with friends. Ohhh the dilemmas!! Choices!! What to do?
One of my friends is a bit stressed about meeting mom. She has been seeing this man for a few months now; but they aren’t in a committed relationship yet. She seems to like him, but may be having jitters. When you’ve been single for a while jitters are normal. Anyway… so mom is visiting for Thanksgiving. Nerve wracking right? This could be the determining factor of if she and the guy stay together or not. That’s a lot of pressure. I’m sure it will be fine though; she’s good people 🙂
What about family dinner? Should you invite the person you’ve been dating to dinner? Will that person be overwhelmed? With my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews there are 12 of us!! That might be a bit much. I’ve met someone that I want to introduce to the family; he asked if he could meet them one by one. I think it’s best to just meet them all at once… when you meet them all at once you just blend in. When it’s one on one all the attention is on YOU. Be prepared for an interrogation!
Gifts are another thing to consider… how soon is too soon to exchange gifts? Should you talk about it? Should you just buy a gift if you want and don’t worry about receiving anything in return? If you do decide to exchange gifts, what do you get? Men are hard to shop for, socks, tie pin… you don’t want to get something too big… those are crappy gifts though. I’m not going to worry about it. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I have enough gifts to buy anyway, there are 12 of us lol. One of my nephews specifically said no clothes, lmao.
So much uncertainty. You don’t want to be pushy, but you don’t want to be put on the back burner. Do you have to make choices about who to spend the holidays with? Party with your friends on NYE or a romantic night? Or both party and then romance, ahhh best of both worlds ;-). Are women the only ones who worry about these things? Probably. I think we worry too much. Well, I’m not going to worry or think about anything. I’m happy and I’m just going to go with the flow. I’m drifting peacefully with a cool drink in my hand.
On another note. I got a new job!! I’m still with the bank, it’s a promotion, and one step closer to where I want to be. I am extremely excited about this opportunity and can’t wait to start on Monday.
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